In Tribute to my Grandma

Today we celebrate the life and beautiful spirit of my maternal grandmother, Esmie Afflalo. We miss you dearly Grandma, but know you are resting in eternal peace. Happy Birthday! In tribute:








I read these lyrics at my Grandma's memorial in Jamaica (July 1997) because they reminded me of life lessons she had taught me through word and example. This timely and timeless message guides me each day and can guide us all through any difficult days that may be ahead.

Daddy's Girl

Daddy’s Girl

I was a Daddy’s girl.

When I was little that meant my Daddy could do no wrong.

I grew up and realized that wasn’t always true, but it wasn’t always false either.

It just means I wanted him to be my hero.

And he was.

I am a Daddy’s girl

In many ways I am just like him.

I learned a lot of life lessons from him, through example, good and bad.

I don’t see him the way I did when I was a little girl

But I love him the same.

Sometimes I think he doesn’t know the grown woman I’ve become

As much as he knew the little girl I was.

We rarely see eye to eye, and many miles, years, words, and trespasses have come between us

I may not always do what he wants me to do

Or be the daughter he wants me to be

But I am what he raised me to be – his daughter

And for that, I’ll forever be grateful.

I have two sons.

They say boys have special bonds with their moms

Just like girls have special bonds with their fathers.

It makes sense I had boys.

They probably will be momma’s boys.

The day will come when distance may come between us

Just like it did with my dad and me

Distance sometimes makes it hard to remember that no matter what

My love for them will never change

Never.

I remember Daddy.

I love you too.

For Ma...

Boyz II Men - A Song For Mama

Ten years ago today, we lost my mom to cancer. She was just 54 and had the most beautiful spirit. I am blessed she was my mother.

When she died, our family had already lost my grandmother and grandfather within the last 15 months, and would have another unexpected family tragedy three months later (when my cousin Zondie was hit by a car and killed on her way to school). I finally wrote something about that time that I've been wanting to write for years (see blog titled: Death and Life). Because of all of the loss, 10 years ago was a very dark time in my life...and this date, 10 years ago, was the darkest of all days. I was by her side when she took her last breath...and it has taken me a while, but I have caught my breath..and exhaled.

For the first few years, this "anniversary", mother's day, and her birthday were very tough days for me. I would cry unexpectedly and just felt lost. With time, the darkness I felt on those days has decreased, but it is never easy.
It's been 10 years....and that's hard to believe. I've been beat from a crazy schedule so didn't even think about it first thing this morning, although it's been on my mind off and on all year. 10 years. Not possible. But yet true. 10 years. A lot has happened. She didn't get to hold Jaren but we honored her and Zondie by giving Jaren a unique middle name: Jozondi. She didn't see me finish graduate school and get my Ph.D. but she made it happen. She was my inspiration and knowing what it would mean to her kept me dedicated. She didn't see me buy my first house...which for those that knew Ma understand that is huge, seeing she would have been the one to sell it to me ;-)  ...lol...but she literally made it possible. But she knows all this I'm sure. I just want the rest of the world to know it. Thank you Ma. I love you.